Monday, February 07, 2005

Overdue Update

So, the day after the Super Bowl sucks for me. I am big football fan, but especially NFL football. I played two fantasy leagues this year, plus one during the playoffs (which I won). I have spent close to every Sunday watching during football season watching a game during each timeslot for the last six years. I haven't missed a single Monday night football game in probably five years. I rarely turn off games early, which may seem like a waste of time to some, but when you get to see a comeback like the Jets had against the Dolphins a few years ago or the Colts against the Bucs last year, that makes it all worth it to me.

I also watch entirely too much TV, so I am very opinionated about TV commercials. I have never eaten at a Carl's Jr. because I think their commercials are horrific. Most of the anti-drug commercials I see are so stupid and ineffective, it makes me want to find a crack dealer. Don't even get me started on the local commercials I must tolerate.

I got to spend the day overhearing everyone's pedestrian observations, moronic opinions, and downright inaccurate accounts of the game.

I heard people blaming Donovan, calling him inconsistent. Well, Brady did miss some throws, too, and Donovan threw for the fourth highest passing yardage in Super Bowl history, despite being sacked four times for a loss of 33 yards. The battle of the quarterbacks was not the deciding factor in this game.

I heard people claim both offenses were sloppy in the first half. WRONG. Both offenses were made to look sloppy by the opposing defenses. I suppose one could bring up Brady's fumble on the play action fake where Kevin Faulk knocked it out of his hands. Well, one arguably sloppy play in a half does not constitute sloppy play.

The things I read in the blogosphere weren't much better.

Scoble claimed a football game broke out late in the third quarter. I normally agree with what he has to say, and I consider his opinions when I don't. But this really underscores one of my major irritations with casual football fans: they can't appreciate a strong defensive performance. I think back to the first quarter and the intensity from both defenses, especially Rodney Harrison and Jeremiah Trotter, and I cannot fathom how someone would think it wasn't "a game" from the opening kick.

I guess I should be used to the casual fan rubbing my NFL elitism the wrong way by now. But at least he linked Homestarrunner, so I guess I am obliged to let it slide. :)

And the multiple people who watched for the commercials, or TiVo'd it so they could only watch the commercials... what the hell were they thinking? Does their memory not go back a full year? Last year's commercials sucked. So did the year before. In my opinion, Super Bowl commercials haven't even been close to worthy of the Super Bowl since the Atlanta vs. Denver Super Bowl (that was played in 1999).

And the commercials sucked this year, too. I have read the commercial has been getting the best reviews in the blogosphere. Hmm, why could that be? Maybe because all the commercials sucked, and having a busty female in a sucky commercial makes it less sucky than the ones without a busty female. Yeah, yeah, I get that is was tying in with that selfish cesspool of human being Janet Jackson's stunt from last year, but it wasn't that clever.

...Fucking monkeys... Advertising people, never put another stupid monkey in a commercial. It's insulting. It is a cheap way to get some sort of "cuteness" which I find repulsive, but apparently a certain portion of the population finds appealing.

Olympus, your commercial sucked, too. I am sick of ads with such synthetic "hipness". It was cheesy and stupid and fell way short of being hip. You are no Apple. The commercial was severely lacking in substance. What exactly in that monstrosity was supposed to convince me to give up my iPod and my digital camera?

The Ameriquest commercial was almost decent if it hadn't been so predictable.

Even Bud Light, who normally is the highlight of Super Bowl commercials, was a real letdown this year.

And Pepsi. Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi... Do you test your commercials? Nobody likes Puffy or P-Diddy or whatever the hell he's called now. "Yeah, let's get that one talentless quasi-rapper who shoots up night clubs to endorse our product!" Brilliant...

I have a dream that one day the Super Bowl commercials won't be riddled with played out marketing gimmicks. I am almost certain that dream will never come true. No wonder advertisers and networks push for things like the broadcast flag and ads while you fast forward your TiVo. Maybe if you could make an ad people wouldn't mind watching every once in a while, you wouldn't have to resort to such childish tactics.


At 8:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey! Finally an update! I liked the Ameriquest commercial with the cat, predictable or not. I did watch the whole game but I had absolutely no opinions on whether it was good or not, only that I didn't win any of the money back that I put in the pool at work. Sucks. ~Kelli

At 2:43 PM, Blogger gus away from the metroplaza said...

I have to agree with Kelli. The ameriquest one was good. Most of the others were superlame. The one thing I did enjoy about the commercials was that there were no zoloft or jamster commercials. I'd honestly rather watch companies spend a lot of money trying to make something funny (even if they fail) than have those shitty commercials around.

Oh yeah, and the monkeys were way better than If they want to blow a lot of money they should come up with a better domain name. If they hurry, they can still beat the anti-drug people to

At 1:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with all of your comments except for one.

Monkeys = Comedy Goldmine

If Bush had a monkey on his lap during the State of the Union, then I would actually watch. Especially, If he called him 'Little Rumsfeld'.

How can you overlook the brilliant social commentary created by a monkey in a business suit?

You can pretty much take any mundane activity, insert a chimp, and have 'Laughs Ahoy!!! Full Speed Ahead!"

At 2:27 PM, Blogger Jim B said...

Monkeys always make me think of the scenes in Strangers with Candy when Jerri would watch TV.

Maybe my expression of my distaste for monkeys is symbolic of my loathing of lower life forms, like lawyers and telemarketers. is a super crappy domain name. I wonder if is available, but I am afraid of the legal repercussions of typing it in to find out. It could have some really shady content.


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