Sunday, November 06, 2005

A fun & sneaky family...

I was working on my bowling tracking app a few days before Halloween when my doorbell rang. I wasn't expecting company, and I didn't particularly welcome any distractions.

I reluctantly got up and went to answer the door. As I approached the my front door, I could see something had been taped to the outer glass door. It turned out to be this:

I opened the door, and no one was there. This bag was sitting on my front porch.

The bag wasn't empty. It contained:
  • A Quaker Oats Chocolate Chip Granola Bar
  • A mini Hershey's Milk Chocolate candy bar
  • Two rolls of Smarties
  • A bag of Chewy Sweet Tarts
  • A pack of Whoppers
  • A Vampire Bobblehead contain Jack O' Lantern gum
  • A pair of Halloween socks
  • A Halloween Poem

Here is the poem:
    Happy Halloween!

    A fun & sneaky family has come to town
    To leave you some goodies that was see you have found
    If you do not wish to disappoint all
    Continue this greeting, this sneaky family call!
    Buy or make some treats, 2 paper ghosts, and 2 notes like this
    Deliver them to 2 neighbors who may have been missed
    Don't let them see you, be sneaky, no doubt
    And make sure they put their paper ghosts out!
    Next, you have only two days to act, so be quick
    Leave it at doors where there is no light
    Ring the doorbell and run, and stay out of sight!
    Last but not least, come join in the season
    Don't worry, be happy - you need no good reason
    Be cool, have fun, and remember don't be seen!
    Share the spirit of Halloween!!

I don't think the author had much regard for meter. Then you have the line "Next, you have only two days to act, so be quick". It doesn't rhyme with anything. But I understand because sometimes when I am writing a traditional poem, I forget and think I am writing a Haiku. Then when I proofread it, I notice, but I decide I can't do it any better and leave it. I also have to applaud the random use of exclamation marks. But the most troubling thing is expectation/obligation to Pay It Forward.

So, I would have to buy two large pieces of white construction paper, an assortment of candy, a Halloween themed bag of the appropriate capacity, and some Halloween themed socks, and I would have to make a copy of the poem. Not only that, but it appears all the other houses in my neighborhood had been "hit", so I would have to drive around local neighborhoods looking for a mark. Creepily driving around neighborhoods that aren't mine looking for a mark would look very suspicious and wouldn't be very smart on my part. I was not ready to risk looking like a kidnapper or burglar or serial killer just to get in the Halloween spirit. But let's assume I find a mark without being reported as a suspicious individual in the area. So now, I have to return to the neighborhood at night, sneak uncomfortably close to a stranger's home, tape the ghost to the door, drop the bag, ring the doorbell, run away, and drive off without the luxury of a getaway driver. Oh yeah, wait, I am supposed to do all that twice. Needless to say, I didn't pay it forward. The whole process would have been a big pain in the ass not to mention the potential for an unpleasant brush with the law.

That is my left hand in the picture next to the Halloween themed socks. I don't think they are going to fit. Anyone with small feet need some socks?


At 8:26 AM, Anonymous Kelli said...

I could use some Halloween socks! By the way, I wanted to email you the other day and I realize I don't have your email address anymore now that you got robbed. Email it to me:

At 10:29 AM, Blogger charr said...

I enjoyed the comparison picture with your hand and the socks.

btw, The 'font' they used on their ghost is fantastic.

Another fun and sneaky thing to do:

Buy yourself a Burger King costume- the freaky one they've been using in commercials lately. Dress up and go door to door ringing your neighbor's doorbells. When they answer the door, you just stand there motionless and mute. After they get frustrated and shut the door on you, ring the doorbell again and do the same. Once they shut the door on you once more start peering into their windows. Wait outside their driveways as their garage doors open and they drive away. Don't wave, just turn your head slowly and watch them. Try to position yourself so that they see you standing still and staring at them in the yard across the street when they wake up in the morning to get the paper. If you creep them out enough eventually they will call the police. But who is going to believe someone that says they are being harrassed by the Burger King?

At 10:16 PM, Blogger Cori said...

I cracked up through your piece, then just about fell out of my chair at the reply. That was some damn fine literature, yes it was.

At 7:29 PM, Blogger Kelly said...

this is bizarre and strangely frightening..but I am a little jealous

At 9:22 PM, Blogger gus away from the metroplaza said...

I love the socks. I want them to keep in my bowling bag. Then when I go bowling with people and they ask me if I have any extra socks (it happens more than you'd think) I can give them those.

All of your neighbors love you too. I wish I could meet the people that paid it forward to you.

At 10:34 AM, Anonymous Adrienne G. said...

It's a good thing you didn't pay it forward. You would have automatically signed yourself up for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and other holiday shenanigans. Not that ignoring their neighborly advances is any guarantee you'll be exempt from the next round of harassment. I think they've got plans for you.

At 9:01 PM, Blogger Kelly said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 7:56 PM, Blogger platkat said...

I guess you're never too old to get free shit from strangers on Halloween. Let's go trick-or-treating next year.


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